[It’s terrifying, now that Teddy’s sitting down and facing him. He falters; the words escape him, and he shifts in his seat, trying to find that center again. Breathe. In, out. Teddy stayed. Teddy doesn't hate him.

or he does and he’s not saying

In, out. In, out.

He’ll do this anyway, whether he's hated or not. He'll do this because he needs to. Because Teddy deserves it.]

...I’m sorry. And that- I know it doesn't even begin to cover what I just did, doesn't even come close. I don’t know what could do that. I’m afraid to ask.

[I'm afraid of a lot of things these days.

I don't want to be afraid of you.

I don't want you to be afraid of me.]

What I do know is that... I’m done making promises. I keep breaking them, and that’s not fair. It’s just making it worse... for everyone. So I'll stop.

[He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath - in, out, in - his hands clasped together so tightly his knuckles have gone white.]

What I'm doing to you... what you're letting me do to you... it's not healthy. It's not fair. I'm hurting you over and over and half the time I don't even...

[His breath catches, and he lifts a hand to cover his mouth, looking up at the ceiling to focus on it instead of Teddy's face, taking a moment to compose himself before he breaks down again. He can't do that, not now. How he feels is nothing compared to how Teddy must be feeling. It's not about him anymore. It's about making things right.

even if you can't

even if you never-

Breathe. In. Out. In. Out.

just keep trying]

You should- I mean- I should go. Be somewhere else. Somewhere I can't hurt you, or anyone else. I hate this, I hate that I can't control it, I hate...

[I hate me...

I don't want to go...

He shudders, glancing at Teddy once more, and his eyes are so brown.]

Will you walk me to the tunnels?

[I don't want to go.

But it's better than driving you to leave me...]