[Why are you asking me? I should be asking those questions.
Was that okay?
Is it okay if it's me? Not him?
What do you want?
They're all questions Teddy doesn't ask, even though he desperately wants to. The act of doing so, and the way Billy's reacting to all of this, and just how much fear and uncertainty and yet - and yet something like relief blanketing over them, and other emotions - it all makes him shudder as well and lower his head, touching his forehead to Billy's shoulder, and grip his hand with his own free one.
He feels like he doesn't understand anything anymore. He's supposed to be the one who holds people up when they need it, the one people go to when they need help, the pillar, the support. Not this fragile person who questions every single act, feeling all the worse for it, who's unsure of himself and everyone around him.
And Billy's the one asking if he doesn't mind?]
It's... it's okay. Of course it is... it's always okay. [Billy should never have to feel afraid of him. Love, affection, especially from the one Teddy loves most; it's all been missed terribly. But to ask for it while Billy's like this, when Teddy isn't sure if Billy even wants to give it...]
Do... Do you? [Do you mind? And he finds fear building up again; was that too much? Did he just screw it all up? Will Billy push him away and gently let him down, say that it's better this way? Or withdraw again?]
[Action, October 21st]
Was that okay?
Is it okay if it's me? Not him?
What do you want?
They're all questions Teddy doesn't ask, even though he desperately wants to. The act of doing so, and the way Billy's reacting to all of this, and just how much fear and uncertainty and yet - and yet something like relief blanketing over them, and other emotions - it all makes him shudder as well and lower his head, touching his forehead to Billy's shoulder, and grip his hand with his own free one.
He feels like he doesn't understand anything anymore. He's supposed to be the one who holds people up when they need it, the one people go to when they need help, the pillar, the support. Not this fragile person who questions every single act, feeling all the worse for it, who's unsure of himself and everyone around him.
And Billy's the one asking if he doesn't mind?]
It's... it's okay. Of course it is... it's always okay. [Billy should never have to feel afraid of him. Love, affection, especially from the one Teddy loves most; it's all been missed terribly. But to ask for it while Billy's like this, when Teddy isn't sure if Billy even wants to give it...]
Do... Do you? [Do you mind? And he finds fear building up again; was that too much? Did he just screw it all up? Will Billy push him away and gently let him down, say that it's better this way? Or withdraw again?]