[There's that guilt again, the wave of concern and stress and you're a horrible boyfriend and you don't deserve him and you've trapped him here and stop being selfish. Even now, Teddy's only going because Billy's finally suggested it, rather than choosing to go on his own. He's bound himself to Billy's choices, and Billy... does not make great choices.
He is this time, though. Today he is. He's determined. For Teddy's sake.
I want today... to be good for him.
When Teddy speaks up the second time, Billy looks up again, trying to conceal his guilt, trying to look, to be as normal as possible. He knows he's still too much of a mess inside and out to really pull it off, but the closer he gets, the better off Teddy will be, he figures. Maybe he'll smile again. Maybe they'll go home and curl up in front of the fire and cuddle and kiss and it'll be normal and perfect and
[Action, October 21st]
He is this time, though. Today he is. He's determined. For Teddy's sake.
I want today... to be good for him.
When Teddy speaks up the second time, Billy looks up again, trying to conceal his guilt, trying to look, to be as normal as possible. He knows he's still too much of a mess inside and out to really pull it off, but the closer he gets, the better off Teddy will be, he figures. Maybe he'll smile again. Maybe they'll go home and curl up in front of the fire and cuddle and kiss and it'll be normal and perfect and
Normal doesn't exist.
Perfection is an illusion.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Teddy's waiting for you.]
What is it?