[Billy shudders, letting his hand slide up to press over Teddy's, holding it against him, letting more tears slip down his cheeks, though he doesn't break down entirely this time. Crying is better than the alternatives, though, which are casting or sleeping (both of which he's done far too much of recently). Crying feels like a normal reaction, a way to feel, or rather, to let himself feel everything he's been forcibly burying under a mountain of false realities. Even if it's just for a little while, even if he knows it won't last, even if it hurts so badly it's like his heart and soul's being crushed, he wants it.
He can't hide from true reality forever, after all.
And Teddy's letting him do this. How could he ever, ever think to replace him? How could he ever believe that his magic, his imagination could recreate what was already perfect for him?
If I'd made him, he would have abandoned me for someone better a long time ago.
Teddy deserves someone who isn't so broken, doesn't he? of course he does. And it's not like he wants to be, but...]
...what if I can't come back from this?
[What if he loses his mind, what if his own magic or whatever's in his head beats him, what if he just- what if he chose to-
....
It's hard to imagine them coming out on top, here.]
[Action, October 15th]
[Billy shudders, letting his hand slide up to press over Teddy's, holding it against him, letting more tears slip down his cheeks, though he doesn't break down entirely this time. Crying is better than the alternatives, though, which are casting or sleeping (both of which he's done far too much of recently). Crying feels like a normal reaction, a way to feel, or rather, to let himself feel everything he's been forcibly burying under a mountain of false realities. Even if it's just for a little while, even if he knows it won't last, even if it hurts so badly it's like his heart and soul's being crushed, he wants it.
He can't hide from true reality forever, after all.
And Teddy's letting him do this. How could he ever, ever think to replace him? How could he ever believe that his magic, his imagination could recreate what was already perfect for him?
If I'd made him, he would have abandoned me for someone better a long time ago.
Teddy deserves someone who isn't so broken, doesn't he? of course he does. And it's not like he wants to be, but...]
...what if I can't come back from this?
[What if he loses his mind, what if his own magic or whatever's in his head beats him, what if he just- what if he chose to-
....
It's hard to imagine them coming out on top, here.]