[Billy shudders, his shoulders shaking from sobs muffled against Teddy's shirt, fingers clenching in the material. He doesn't want this. He doesn't want it anymore, this darkness, these shadows, the wall of danger between them that causes this- this pain every time they kiss or get too close. He doesn't want quiet little whispers in his head that he's not sure are his or someone else's. He doesn't want to be one half of a person anymore.
He wants... no, what he needs... is for Teddy to be safe. He needs whatever is wrong with him to be fixed.
And then it hits him- what hasn't worked, this whole time, what can work if not met by resistance... resistance caused by him, not Twila, all along.
He needs to be fixed. To be healed. The one thing his magic has never been allowed to do, for whatever deeply rooted, screwed up mental block that he'd probably need a dozen therapists to fully understand. He can't do it alone, and in the state he's in, neither can Teddy.
Let's fix this.
We're a team.
We can do it.]
No... no.
[No more. No more of this. He's done hurting the one he loves.]
We got this.
[He closes his eyes, reaching deep inside himself for that pool of calm, the one he'd learned to develop with all those self-help books, back at the beginning sitting across from Teddy, holding hands and willing for the world to change for him. He reaches, and he relaxes, and he breathes, and he stops. He stops it all: the spread of darkness, the draining energy, the whispering.
He opens his eyes and there's a burst of blue light, starting at his eyes, then his hands, slowly spreading over his body like a wildfire until it's created a magical net around him, surrounding the shadows and holding it in. It coats the wings, flaring strongest of all there, biting at the black feathers like the snapping jaws of a wild animal. He chants, quietly at first and gradually growing louder as his confidence and control rises.]
[For a long moment there's nothing, darkness and defiance and one last-ditch effort at convincing him to go back to taking, taking, taking it all. When once it was so difficult to ignore, with Teddy's hands in his, it takes little more than a mental shrug to resist the voice and let the magic gently spread to Teddy's hands, snaking up his arm and arcing across his chest to center over his heart. It starts out slowly, gradually gaining momentum: a magical IV line of energy, the strength that he'd let Twila steal for him. Giving it back, so Teddy has the strength to help him drive it out.
They'll do this together; he wouldn't want it any other way.]
[Action, June 1st]
He wants... no, what he needs... is for Teddy to be safe. He needs whatever is wrong with him to be fixed.
And then it hits him- what hasn't worked, this whole time, what can work if not met by resistance... resistance caused by him, not Twila, all along.
He needs to be fixed. To be healed. The one thing his magic has never been allowed to do, for whatever deeply rooted, screwed up mental block that he'd probably need a dozen therapists to fully understand. He can't do it alone, and in the state he's in, neither can Teddy.
Let's fix this.
We're a team.
We can do it.]
No... no.
[No more. No more of this. He's done hurting the one he loves.]
We got this.
[He closes his eyes, reaching deep inside himself for that pool of calm, the one he'd learned to develop with all those self-help books, back at the beginning sitting across from Teddy, holding hands and willing for the world to change for him. He reaches, and he relaxes, and he breathes, and he stops. He stops it all: the spread of darkness, the draining energy, the whispering.
He opens his eyes and there's a burst of blue light, starting at his eyes, then his hands, slowly spreading over his body like a wildfire until it's created a magical net around him, surrounding the shadows and holding it in. It coats the wings, flaring strongest of all there, biting at the black feathers like the snapping jaws of a wild animal. He chants, quietly at first and gradually growing louder as his confidence and control rises.]
"IwantittogobackIwantittogobackIwantittogobackIwantittogobackIwantittogoback..."
[For a long moment there's nothing, darkness and defiance and one last-ditch effort at convincing him to go back to taking, taking, taking it all. When once it was so difficult to ignore, with Teddy's hands in his, it takes little more than a mental shrug to resist the voice and let the magic gently spread to Teddy's hands, snaking up his arm and arcing across his chest to center over his heart. It starts out slowly, gradually gaining momentum: a magical IV line of energy, the strength that he'd let Twila steal for him. Giving it back, so Teddy has the strength to help him drive it out.
They'll do this together; he wouldn't want it any other way.]