[Billy swallows hard at that, fingers moving listlessly against Teddy's cheeks, his thumbs brushing over the tears. That had been the hardest moment- watching Teddy choking on his own blood, screams fading into coughs and then into silence, going still as death...]

I... I was so scared. I thought you were dying, too. You weren't moving, you were so quiet...

[There had, at least, been one small mercy at that moment, one he'll never forget, even if it burns him to admit it.]

He... he didn't even blink. Like it didn't matter if you died. But I thought- even if it scared me, even if I couldn't hear your voice anymore, I thought that- at least- at least you weren't suffering anymore...

[At least, maybe, just maybe, while unconscious he could have some sort of respite from all that pain.]