[To Teddy, those words, and the way Billy's looking at him now, feels like he's up on stage with a spotlight shining right on him. Worst of all, he doesn't know his lines.
But it's different from other times in the past when he was expected to talk. He isn't alone on the stage, after all. This person he loves is right in front of him, hands in his hair as if to take his attention away from everything else. That doesn't mean it isn't hard; this isn't the way Teddy copes with things. He'd much rather accept that it happened, keep it within, walk on, keep it far away yet the knowledge he learned from it close. Talking just reopens wounds that he'd carefully placed band-aids over, and then they don't close for a good while again.
Yet... now he's feeling like the selfish one. Billy's the one who opened up and let loose everything that hurt, that scarred, that made him cry. Teddy... never did.
And, for once, he feels like just... letting it go. Maybe he does need to voice some things... Maybe he just doesn't know how much it bothers him.
He looks down at Billy's stomach, not wanting to see his eyes or his face for this. At least, not right now. At such a vulnerable moment, he can't stand looking at someone who's staring at him. But he also moves his hands to rest on Billy's arms, a silent plea to keep them there.]
[action; january 28th]
But it's different from other times in the past when he was expected to talk. He isn't alone on the stage, after all. This person he loves is right in front of him, hands in his hair as if to take his attention away from everything else. That doesn't mean it isn't hard; this isn't the way Teddy copes with things. He'd much rather accept that it happened, keep it within, walk on, keep it far away yet the knowledge he learned from it close. Talking just reopens wounds that he'd carefully placed band-aids over, and then they don't close for a good while again.
Yet... now he's feeling like the selfish one. Billy's the one who opened up and let loose everything that hurt, that scarred, that made him cry. Teddy... never did.
And, for once, he feels like just... letting it go. Maybe he does need to voice some things... Maybe he just doesn't know how much it bothers him.
He looks down at Billy's stomach, not wanting to see his eyes or his face for this. At least, not right now. At such a vulnerable moment, he can't stand looking at someone who's staring at him. But he also moves his hands to rest on Billy's arms, a silent plea to keep them there.]
It... wasn't just for your sake.
... Where do I even start? I don't know...