[And in that moment, just like that, it clicks: what's been bothering him, prodding at the back of his mind despite his attempts to ignore it. That something's been wrong, something's been missing in... whatever he called this. This recovery process.
He's been so selfish, even if Teddy would never say as much. And hearing him say that, make that offer, is a punch right to the gut. Teddy's always been there for him, holding him while he cried, comforting him after the nightmares, caring for him through his fever in the days after it happened. Even rescuing him, apparently, risking his life to get him out of that prison.
When has he ever done the same for Teddy, who has his own awful experiences to deal with, who had suffered so much at the hands of that terrible man, who never, ever talked about it himself?
God, he's the worst boyfriend ever. Stubbornly, he crushes that feeling of guilt - or rather, lets it become a driving force instead - in favour of pulling back enough to look Teddy in the eyes, sympathy and that same determination as before mixed in his gaze.
No backing down this time. Even if it hurts to hear, even if neither of them want to go through it again. Teddy's endured those memories for him in the past, and Billy will be damned if he lets him do it alone again.]
You're right... couples talk about this stuff. And we should, too. Both of us, together.
[His hands lift, stroking gently through Teddy's hair.]
But you never have. You kept it all in for my sake.
[His eyes narrow a little- not judging, god, far from it, but... critical. Prying, almost. The message should be obvious: you don't have to anymore.]
[action; january 28th]
He's been so selfish, even if Teddy would never say as much. And hearing him say that, make that offer, is a punch right to the gut. Teddy's always been there for him, holding him while he cried, comforting him after the nightmares, caring for him through his fever in the days after it happened. Even rescuing him, apparently, risking his life to get him out of that prison.
When has he ever done the same for Teddy, who has his own awful experiences to deal with, who had suffered so much at the hands of that terrible man, who never, ever talked about it himself?
God, he's the worst boyfriend ever. Stubbornly, he crushes that feeling of guilt - or rather, lets it become a driving force instead - in favour of pulling back enough to look Teddy in the eyes, sympathy and that same determination as before mixed in his gaze.
No backing down this time. Even if it hurts to hear, even if neither of them want to go through it again. Teddy's endured those memories for him in the past, and Billy will be damned if he lets him do it alone again.]
You're right... couples talk about this stuff. And we should, too. Both of us, together.
[His hands lift, stroking gently through Teddy's hair.]
But you never have. You kept it all in for my sake.
[His eyes narrow a little- not judging, god, far from it, but... critical. Prying, almost. The message should be obvious: you don't have to anymore.]