selfhelp | [Action/Written]

[Billy has never thought of himself as one of those obsessive stalker boyfriends who needs to be attached at the hip to his significant other at all times. Really, he'd always figured they were pretty good about mutual space. A two-month separation with the potential of spending years in this place without seeing Teddy again is, however, apparently the trigger he'd needed to become one, so after one too many looks from Teddy - some patient, others not so much - he'd officially gotten himself banished from the apartment for the afternoon after too much worried lurking. Which is... not the greatest thing ever on a hot day like today, but ten minutes down the road he realizes that, yeah, he'd been a little ridiculous, either blowing off his responsibilities or dragging Teddy along for the ride. He's happy and eager to have Teddy here, but they'd lived separate lives at least half the time back home; no reason for that to not continue here as well.

It's just hard to let go after you've missed someone for that long.

Still, that's how he finds himself out and about for around five hours today, doing the following (in no particular order):

- a late lunch at Seventh Heaven
- searching around the library for comic books
- combat practice in the Battle Dome (with or without his trusty new teacher)

While at the library, a few sketches find their way into his journal, more or less like the following: this, this, and this. Some time afterwards, a scribbled message appears below.]

What are some good ways to deal with bad dreams?

[Once he's finished all his daily stuff, he'll be bringing groceries home around dinner time, in the hopes that he's allowed. Feel free to run into him at any time.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Pointed and pierced, as it were. Zev lifts his hand in turn and grins across to the slim young man he can only assume to be Billy.]

A pleasure to meet you in person, Billy.

Y-yeah... same to you.

[Don't ask, Billy. Don't ask. Don't ask don't ask don't ask-]

Are you an elf?

[........Mission: failed.]

No.

[Flat, deadpan, and spoken with a grin.]

I am a fade spirit, here to grant all your naughty little wishes.

[Oh, that's just mean. Billy's lips quirk a bit at that, despite the slight blush crossing his cheeks; he can appreciate a good sarcastic reply, after all.]

The spirit of raunchy behaviour? I bet you're popular.

With all the little virginal boys and girls that wish to learn the truth of carnal contortion, yes.

[He huffs a laugh.]

[...Guh, there goes his composure again.]

Y... yeah. About that. This isn't going to be something that looks like I'm cheating, is it?

We'll be fully clothed for one- so unless you become very creative I do not think you will be any danger of that. Secondly I am here to instruct you, yes? Seduction is fun, but not terribly informative.

Haha, okay, I can handle that. ...I think.

[HE'S REALLY, REALLY HOPING...]

So how do we start?

First we find a large empty space free from prying eyes, then we get you loosened up enough that the stretching is not so uncomfortable.

[That could be taken in a really, really dirty way and oh god just let him die.]

Why, um... why does it have to be private? The dome has viewing areas...

Do you wish to be observed while contorting yourself? I never took you for an exhibitionist! Perhaps working with you will be simpler than I previously imagined.

[Ohgod.]

No, no, no. It's really okay. Um... private. I think we can create a room inside one of the chambers...

Excellent. [Zev huffs a soft laugh.] Besides. This way it is an even bigger surprise for your special someone, yes?

[Aaaah, just kill him now. It's too painful when it happens slowly and painfully like this.]

Um. Yeah. Thanks.

[He'll just... head over to the console to take care of that, then. Sob.]

Do not be so mortified, I am certain they will appreciate the effort you have put into this. And if they do not- whoever else comes along after very well might!

Sorry, we can't all be shameless. [He finishes up with the console, gesturing towards the door.] There, it's done. Will this work?

[Inside the room is designed like a generic gym, with a large tent in the middle, the sort one might hold a party or a small reception under. The base of the tent is covered in exercise mats for comfort.]

I will just have to be twice as shameless to make up for your inability to do so. [A low crack of a laugh as Zev makes his way over to the tent, nodding in his approval. He'd fiddled with this thing a bit and...managed a carpet. By accident. He is not too terribly good at using these strange devices just yet.]

Perfect! Now remove your shoes so we may begin.

[THAT LAUGH IS FRIGHTENING, WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN HERE D8

Billy follows him anyway, though, kicking off his shoes obediently and heading inside. There's still the option of teleporting out, so it's cool.]

[Not that frightening. Really Billy. Nothing to be afraid of. Not at all.

Zev toes off his own boots and starts rolling his shoulders, twisting to pop his spine and motioning for Billy to do the same.]

Shall we?

[Billy watches the movements for a moment, wincing at the sound, but soon follows suit. He's here for lessons, so he's going to learn, dammit.]

I'm ready. What do I do?

First let me see how flexible you are as it stands. Reach over and touch your toes.

[Zev, quite deliberately, remains in front of Billy, several feet away. There will be no ogling of his posterior. This time, at least.]

Oh, that's easy.

[And it is- it's like the most basic of yoga moves, and he's been doing that for years. To his toes go his fingers!]

Rest your hands flat on the ground.

[Not that much more difficult, but. Baby steps.]

[Baby steps indeed. This takes a little more effort, but he manages it; he's all spindly limbs so he doesn't have much mass to get in the way when he stretches, at least.]

Like this?

[Holding position...!]

Yes, very good. Now move your feet as far apart as you are able without bending your knees.

[Zevran settles across from Billy in a similar posture, working his way down into an even split.]

Like so.

[Action]

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