selfhelp | [Action/Written]

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[Billy has never thought of himself as one of those obsessive stalker boyfriends who needs to be attached at the hip to his significant other at all times. Really, he'd always figured they were pretty good about mutual space. A two-month separation with the potential of spending years in this place without seeing Teddy again is, however, apparently the trigger he'd needed to become one, so after one too many looks from Teddy - some patient, others not so much - he'd officially gotten himself banished from the apartment for the afternoon after too much worried lurking. Which is... not the greatest thing ever on a hot day like today, but ten minutes down the road he realizes that, yeah, he'd been a little ridiculous, either blowing off his responsibilities or dragging Teddy along for the ride. He's happy and eager to have Teddy here, but they'd lived separate lives at least half the time back home; no reason for that to not continue here as well.

It's just hard to let go after you've missed someone for that long.

Still, that's how he finds himself out and about for around five hours today, doing the following (in no particular order):

- a late lunch at Seventh Heaven
- searching around the library for comic books
- combat practice in the Battle Dome (with or without his trusty new teacher)

While at the library, a few sketches find their way into his journal, more or less like the following: this, this, and this. Some time afterwards, a scribbled message appears below.]

What are some good ways to deal with bad dreams?

[Once he's finished all his daily stuff, he'll be bringing groceries home around dinner time, in the hopes that he's allowed. Feel free to run into him at any time.]

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[That's a name that gets a tight smile.] I have. Sue seems very eager to share information.

[Which hits very close to another topic. Pepper knows she should've spoken to Billy about this earlier, but between Teddy's arrival and eventually relaying the information Sue had shared to Tony, it's been less pressing of an issue for her.

Until now.]

She told me a lot about your universe too. About your version of Tony Stark.

[A flash of emotions cross his expression just then: panic, first of all, followed swiftly by caution and uncertainty. And then, finally, he studies her with extreme reluctance, like he already knows what she's going to say and he's not happy about it.]

What... did she tell you?

More than I wanted to know. [And clearly the same can be said for Billy, from the expression on his face.] About the Superhero Registration Act, and the war--and the prison.

[Which is the hardest thing for Pepper to mention, because that's where the brainwashing is supposed to be happening.]

[He flinches a little at that, his gaze dropping to the table. The prison isn't exactly his favourite part, either, so he quietly dodges around the subject.]

Did you tell him?

[He assumes "him" is obvious enough.]

[It is.]

Yeah. I didn't want to, but he said he needed to know.

[Which meant if it hadn't been Pepper, Tony would've gone to someone else. Billy or Teddy or Sue.]

He knows you see the difference, Billy. And he promised he would he never become that person.

I figured he might.

[Billy's expression is neutral for a moment, mulling that over, until he finally lifts his head, focusing on her.]

I think... I think it's good that he knows. The whole thing- the war, the SRA, that... prison... it happened too fast. It was decided all at once and there were no plans to make it better. Even criminals have rights, don't they? They get a trial, a chance to be free again. But once you're in that prison you're there forever.

[His hand grips the table, and he's trying not to look angry, but it's really hard. It's not just the prison- it's like the whole world went crazy. What they did to him, what they did to Teddy...]

That's what made it so bad. Maybe if they'd thought about it more, the SRA could have worked for everyone somehow. But for heroes who've been fighting to save the world for so long, risked their lives and never asked for anything in return, it was a betrayal. We weren't even criminals to them. We were like... wild animals they needed to put down.

[Pepper's silent after that. Not because these are things she hasn't heard, but she hasn't heard them this way. Sue recited them almost clinically, the importance of the information trumping any emotion she may have put behind it.

But Billy shows it all. Even if he keeps some of it from his face, it's in how he clutches the table. How he says we.]

I'm so sorry. [Because someone should be.] You shouldn't have gone through all of that.

And maybe you're right. Maybe it is better, so we can keep it from happening in our world. I just...I don't want Tony to be judged because of what that other version did. Which is asking a lot, I know, but the Avengers are still new for us, and so important to him--

[Because Tony knows, but Steve doesn't. Along with whoever else may show up from their world.]

I get that... I do. Why do you think I didn't tell him about it right away?

[There was a bit of fear, yes- that he was pretending for some reason, that he'd think it was a great idea and want to create a registration act here, that Billy would end up planting this crazy idea he couldn't take back. But there was more than that, much more.]

It's not like I hated him or anything. I... I was scared. I didn't want him to be that person. You know, Iron Man wasn't always like that? Back on my world, when I first met him, he and Cap tried helping us. He was strict, but a good guy. What happened in Stamford... it's like he was a completely different person.

[Someone who could betray their friends, watch them die and call it a casualty of war. Someone who could put innocent kids in prison for life and call it justice.

Someone who could let the warden of the Cube do awful things to prisoners just because they're not human.]

When we met here, I didn't tell him who I was- I said I was just a fanboy. I worked for him so I could keep an eye on him, see how different he was. Your Tony... he's the Iron Man with the Avengers I grew up idolizing. The real hero.

[Pepper reaches across the table then, and if he lets her, gently touches Billy's hand while she listens. She's only seen hints of what he's been through, doesn't have (or want) details--but with everything he says now, it's enough.

She aches for him when he talks about he was afraid, and about the Tony that he used to know. But also she can't quite hide a small smile when Billy talks about her Tony, calls him a hero.

Tony's right. Billy really does know the difference.]

Thank you, Billy. For everything.

[Her touch surprises him, causing him to shift his gaze- first to their hands, then to her face. She's smiling now, and he can't help but feel a wave of relief. He'd been worried that she might ask him to talk about what happened, or tell him off for saying too much, or... something. Something that didn't involve a smile. He already felt bad for being unable to keep a straight face while discussing it, but he's pretty sure that's impossible. Not after witnessing so much.

"IwanthimtostopIwanthimtostopIwanthimtostop-"

He crushes his thoughts before his expression can betray them, pursing his lips tightly until he can draw them up into a tremulous smile of his own.]

I didn't do anything... it was all him. You can tell him that if you want.

You're wrong.

[Pepper can see how hard Billy's trying to say what he needs to without showing too much--how he fights to manage even that small smile he gives her.

He's a good kid. Genuinely good.]

You didn't have to give him a chance. You could've just assumed he was like the one you know--or that he would be eventually. But you actually got to know him instead.

[Which is exactly what Pepper wants; Billy's done it, had before she ever got there, because it was right.]

...Well... if I'd treated him like some kind of criminal when he hasn't even done anything, it's just as bad as what they were doing with the SRA. I don't want to be that way.

[All he'd ever wanted was to help people. He couldn't understand what had suddenly made that so bad. This Tony still seemed to understand that. And it's getting easier, bit by bit.]

I'm glad this happened. He can be kind of a man-child a lot of the time, but it's been cool. Getting to know him for real, I mean. I never got to do that back home.

[Maybe that's the most amazing part about the conversation for Pepper: Billy just did what he thought was right.]

I'd say you're not anywhere close to that way.

[She gives his hand a little squeeze before pulling it away. Then Billy calls Tony a man-child among the compliments, and Pepper has to laugh.]

Oh, he definitely can be. I'll warn you now: if you hang around with him long enough, it almost becomes endearing.

[Thank Luceti, Pepper supposes, for otherwise impossible opportunities.]

[At that, it seems like the hard part is over, and Billy slumps back against his chair, feeling like a huge weight has been lifted off of his shoulders. And with that, his smile shifts to become a little more genuine, a little more free. It's okay. He doesn't have to say any more.]

Maybe I'm already doomed, then.

[No, he doesn't. Pepper's good with leaving things as they are, especially when Billy seems to relax.]

Well, at least you aren't alone. I think being his girlfriend puts me squarely in doomed territory.

One of the dangers of being in love, I guess. You have to put up with everything.

[His tone and expression are fond, though; being in the same boat doesn't seem to bother him. Then again, Teddy isn't exactly what he'd call a manchild, either. Certainly not to the degree of Tony Stark.]

Technically, I was putting up with most of it before we were together. More, in fact, since he was also a playboy.

[Pepper gets a mischievous grin on her face then.]

So in truth, I've gotten a few benefits since we became a couple.

I think the whole point of becoming a couple is mutual benefits, isn't it? What you give to them, and what they give to you. Kind of a big deal.

[He says like he's an expert on relationships after dating Teddy for like six months. Though in his defense, they are pretty doofy and devoted for teenagers.]

[They are! Pepper is certainly impressed.]

You know, most people your age don't actually realize that. [...] And if I'm being honest, a lot of people my age also don't.

But that's very smart of you, Billy.

Yeah, so I've seen. High school romances...

[He smiles, looking a breath away from laughter, but his smile is fond and genuine.]

Maybe I wouldn't think this way with anybody else, I don't know. I just... know I have a really amazing thing with Teddy. I don't ever want to lose that.

[Seriously, do you know how hard is it to find someone who puts up with all of his crap? And Teddy can protect himself, that's a huge added bonus for a super hero's partner.]

[Give Pepper a second here. Billy used adorable, and it is super effective.]

Wow. That is really sweet.

[A blush crosses his cheeks at that, and he ducks his head, hastily waving it off.]

It's probably just easier to fall for someone when they've saved your life a few times.

[Which is oversimplifying it, of course, but it certainly doesn't hurt. There's a certain sense of romanticism about being carried out of safety in a strong pair of arms and a handsome face.

Oh god. That was such a damsel thought.]

Not... that I do it on purpose.

I guess I can't really argue that too much, since the first time Tony and I kissed was after he saved mine.

[Oh, but that next comment gets a look. Raised eyebrow and all.]

I really hope not. There are much better ways to keep a guy interested than putting yourself in mortal danger.

[Ahaha. She sounds like Teddy now, lecturing him on getting into trouble.]

If it helps any, we started going out while we were still training?

That actually makes it sound like you're putting yourself in increasingly dangerous situations to keep his attention. Which isn't helping your stance any, no.

You telling me that you're not actually doing it for that reason might help more.

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